Wednesday, July 28, 2010


I actually read that slogan on a t-shirt. It was printed exactly like the Wal-Mart logo. Of course I had to purchase it for my brother Chris in Nashville.

Today was my last day to ever enter a Wal-Mart and here's why:

At least half of my readers (all three of you) are too young to remember Wal-Mart moving into your town. That started in the 70's and continues today.
I can still remember small hometowns across America with town squares surrounded by every shop you could possibly want. There was a nice department store, Woolworth's, Rexall drug store, two shoe stores, a hardware store, ice cream shop, two small dress shops, Sears, beauty parlor, two barber shops and a candy store. Just around the corner was the theater. These businesses were locally owned!

Then WAL-MART came to town. The stores closed one by one until your little downtown where you spent most Saturdays is now a ghost town.

Wal-Mart was supplying so many stores that they were able to get much better "bulk" prices thus running the "locally owned" stores out of business.

Wal-Mart was a Trojan Horse. It was all shiny and new. We all flocked there like a moth to the flame (using as many metaphors as I possibly can)! It was like a drug at first because there had never been anything like it.

The boarding up of our little downtown's happened so gradually it took some of us twenty years to scratch our heads and say: What the fuck? That's WTF to you religious freaks...

As I look back on this mysterious phenomenon I'm reminded that Sam Walton, (money grubbing) founder of Wal-Mart didn't save us anything. In fact what he has cost us can never be replaced.

We were getting everything we needed at a great value from our hometown stores. Well, except maybe for "plus" size. That only became a necessary item since Wal-Mart came along. Thanks Sam!

I could go on and on about their poor treatment of their employees. And about the "toxic" crap they import from China. Not to mention hand made goods from countries with "no" labor laws protecting children!

From today on I pledge to shop anywhere but "Wal-Mart"!!!
I immediately felt better about who I am. My one little act may not help much but it definitely wont add fuel to the flame!

Please do the same! Leave your name or initials if you pledge to stop shopping at Wal-Mart today. :)

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Jenna Bush On The TODAY Show

This young woman is a carbon copy of her mother Laura. They read a script like they are in the first grade, standing in front of the class reading out loud while desperately trying to hold their pee.

Is this the TODAY shows way of making fun of the Bushes? Well it's working!

Thursday, June 3, 2010


No it's not Halloween and I don't have a lisp...
A few years ago I finally learned how to us a computer. I was starting to feel like I was the only person on earth who didn't.
When people asked why I didn't learn, I said I didn't have time. That was true. From what I saw, it looked like something that destroyed relationships and lives. My husband was always on it. It nearly wrecked our relationship.
I was under the impression that computers were supposed to make life easier. Perhaps it does make work easier for a lot of folks. But it also cost employers billions of wasted dollars for all those employees that spend countless hours surfing the net, playing games, Face-Fucking Book, plus Tweeting on their cell phones, on their bosses time. Not to mention all the porn guys are looking at while "working". And those sticky keyboards. Yuck!
I'm quite sure they pass those savings along to us.
I just don't know how people find time to watch "reality TV" with all this shit they have to do on the computer.
My daughter made me a Facebook account as soon as she heard about me coming into the 21st century. I found it to be quite interesting, for a minute or two. Within a few months I had hundreds of new BFF's. We were always LOL! But then it happened... I started making "honest" comments about the things people were posting. Telling young women they could do better than that "Thug" looking boyfriend they just posted a pic of.
Just when I thought things couldn't get any more mundane...
Then came TWITTER! "i just woke up", "my job sucks", "it's raining and i had planned to go outside today"! JFC! I did TWEET one time. My account was cancelled because of foul language. Well I didn't want to use that fucker anyway! A few months later they invited me back. I declined.
Computers have replaced "screwing around" as the number one cause for divorce in our country today. Wow
For years I asked people what Cyber Sex was. I couldn't really understand their answers. I couldn't see anywhere you could be "hooked up" to anything! I did notice my husband having a cigarett after turning the computer off occasionally. Hum
Guess my ego isn't big enough to warrant the time I would need to spend on Facebook and TWITTER, just for a little stroking.
TWITTER: From the Greek word "TWIT". Meaning: FOOL

Monday, March 22, 2010

Breast Implants Cheap!

Breast, boobs, tits. titties, fun bags, hooters.

If you call them anything besides what they are "breast", you are an IDIOT! You are one of the people objectifying women.

Everywhere we look there is cleavage. Every store you walk into, the doctors office, sports games, children's birthday parties and yes, church! I haven't been to church in forty years :) but I know there is inappropriate dress everywhere these days.

Women feel the need to be HOT! Just wait a few years when MENOPAUSE sets in honey...

I also hear women say "I want bigger BOOBS to feel better about myself". Do you want to know what you sound like? You sound like a BIG TIT! Jesus F-inf Christ you are stupid! You may as well get a "pole" installed in every room of your house because that is all a man will ever see in you! As Dan Aykroyd use to say: Jane you ignorant slut"!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about the way you look. That's perfectly natural. But to alter your appearance with breast surgery or even a padded bra is saying "that's ALL you are"!

I have never had a shortage of men checking me out and I'm sixty one years old now. It's actually worse because most of my life I was (on the small size)a 34B. Now that I'm older for some reason I'm a 36C and I see men staring strait at my breast when I pass them. And even when I'm with my husband. He's heard me say to them: "what are you looking at"?

I just find it disgusting. These are your sons, brothers, boyfriends and husbands. And yes, your grandfather!

How can we expect our men to behave in a decent manor when we present ourselves as OBJECTS?

Yesterday I was getting my hair cut by a very pretty twenty four year old girl and she was telling me how hard it was to find a good guy to date. She said she hadn't dated anyone that wanted to stick around. She also mentioned something that I had heard recently about "everybody just being together" and not dating except for casually. Remember, I said she was very pretty. She was also wearing extremely tight fitting clothes and the 20inch tall heels. Nothing says HOOKER quicker than heels you have to ride the elevator to climb into!

I'm definitely not a prude. Without going into detail, I've had loads of fun and kept my dignity and self respect. All without giving second thought about the size of my breast...

The only thing CHEAP about your "breast implants" is you!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I've been watching "Oprah" since I turned on the TV one day expecting to see "RYAN'S HOPE" and there she was!
I was totally pissed. But what was not to like?
I gave up the mind numbing SOAPS years ago and became A fan of Daytime Talk.
In the beginning, watching Oprah was refreshing and enlightening. She talked about subjects our parents and their generation would rather avoid. And we were like sponges. We soaked up every word on every show. I remember thinking that I must be a freak because I had something in common with almost everyone that came on her show.
Date raped high school dropout. Married, let's say "multiple times". And that's just for starters.
As the years roll along, I, along with just about every woman in America start to feel like Oprah's sister. We felt her heartache and she felt ours.
Since we pretty much grew together as "sisters" I expected we would all evolve together as "sisters".
Here's my issue:
Oprah seems to be a lot more into "The Dumming Down of America"! She does shows about "pole dancing" and "looking sexy". The programing has taken a turn toward "reality TV" (which by the way has nothing to do with reality).
I'm not a feminist. I'm an anti-feminist feminist. Meaning: I know women have all the pussy and we're the ones in control already. Duh!
By now I would have thought she would have gotten that message across to the "rest of you women"! NO! Instead, she's telling you that what you need to look and feel sexy!
OMG Oprah! It's 2010! Just because you have a vagina doesn't mean you have to do the cooking, cleaning, child rearing and be a "bring home the bacon in four inch pumps sex kitten"!
We are the victims of rape and murder. All because we have a vagina. There are one hundred and twenty five THOUSAND level three sex assault criminals on the streets! Why aren't you doing a show every other day about that? There are thirty THOUSAND rapes of women and children EVERY MONTH in this country! You could be doing a show about that on the alternate days that you aren't doing one about the level three criminals. I bet you could change the way the whole justice system protects these criminals if you wanted to.
Teach women that they don't need to feel SEXY. They need to feel smart, confident and powerful. TRUE MEN are actually more drawn to women who have those qualities.
It's too late to go back to your core values Oprah. Stop keeping women repressed!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


It seems natural to me that the word menopause would begin with the word "men".

After all, it is a time in a woman's life when she is finished as a woman and begins the transformation process from daughter, to wife, to mother, to menopausal asshole.

That's where the man part comes in. We start growing hair in places we've never grown it before. Out ovaries "dry up". We start to spread out. "Things" start to sag and we become all out "bitches".

Plus, if he hasn't already, our husbands are having sexual fantasies involving sixteen year old girls, which will remain fantasies because (lucky for us) they can't afford the maintenance on a sixteen year old, unless it's a car.

Mother Nature can't possibly be a mother, or a woman at all. What mother would do this to her own kind?

While men are able to procreate up until the age of "death", women start turning into A-Sexual beings around the age of fifty. Still, we're expected to perform "sexually" like we did in our twenties and thirties. Believe me, we would all like to be fucking like bunnies again...Those were the good old days for us too!
We had all the orgasms we could possibly handle. And we didn't have to shop for dinner, or cook the dinner, clean the house, manage the house and make sure everything is in order, do the laundry and be ready for a "date" at eleven PM!

All that and no flowers?

Fortunately, there is a light at the end of the MEN-O-PAUSE tunnel. You do get your sexuality back. Hopefully before your husband leaves you for his twenty year old secretary and your children are still speaking to you even though you were the "menopausal bitch from hell" for the last ten years.

My advice to you is this: #1 If you think your marriage will not hold up to "menopausal hell" hide all the money you can get your hands on so you don't get a royal screwing during the divorce.
#2 Exercise, exercise and more exercise. It's great for your physical and emotional well being. Just do it in the morning. Cocktails and exercise do not mix well. I've tried it!

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Caustic Opinion On Watching People Smoke Themselves To Death

I am in deep shit right now for telling one of my three Aunts that she needs to quit smoking. After moving to Colorado last fall to help out her daughter with her young family, she made the decision to quit smoking after a fifty year habit. She went for ten or twelve weeks without a cigarette. On her first weekend away, to spend the weekend with me, she asked me to pull over so she could buy cigarettes. In the process of pulling over and buying cigarettes, she was telling me that she couldn't remember feeling as well as she did since she had quit smoking. She said she had quit coughing and had a lot more energy and seemed very proud and happy.
Of course I felt like shit because I couldn't say no to her that day. I hadn't seen her in a long time and didn't want to make her feel bad.
I have now become the person with the "caustic opinions" (according to an email I received from her this morning)and need to "back off"!
Well I'm not backing off!
Because she doesn't "smoke" in any ones home or in front of children, it's basically nobodies business.
The fact is, she has proven she can quit!
I told her just after New Years that she needed to go quit again. I know it's hard. Millions of people have said that. That's not the point!
The children she hides her smoking from are the children who will be watching her die a slow agonizing death! These are the Grand Children who need her
Her sister who watched their brother take his "last agonizing breath" from SMOKING doesn't want to see her only sister die that way. AND NEITHER DO I OR ANYONE ELSE WHO KNOWS HER!
We all need to "stop" minding our own business when we see someone we love destroying their lives. Have we become a society of people who only care about themselves?
If thats the case, maybe 12/21/12 will be what we all deserve...