MEN-O-FUCKING-PAUSE

It seems natural to me that the word menopause would begin with the word "men".

After all, it is a time in a woman's life when she is finished as a woman and begins the transformation process from daughter, to wife, to mother, to menopausal asshole.

That's where the man part comes in. We start growing hair in places we've never grown it before. Out ovaries "dry up". We start to spread out. "Things" start to sag and we become all out "bitches".

Plus, if he hasn't already, our husbands are having sexual fantasies involving sixteen year old girls, which will remain fantasies because (lucky for us) they can't afford the maintenance on a sixteen year old, unless it's a car.

Mother Nature can't possibly be a mother, or a woman at all. What mother would do this to her own kind?

While men are able to procreate up until the age of "death", women start turning into A-Sexual beings around the age of fifty. Still, we're expected to perform "sexually" like we did in our twenties and thirties. Believe me, we would all like to be fucking like bunnies again...Those were the good old days for us too!
We had all the orgasms we could possibly handle. And we didn't have to shop for dinner, or cook the dinner, clean the house, manage the house and make sure everything is in order, do the laundry and be ready for a "date" at eleven PM!

All that and no flowers?

Fortunately, there is a light at the end of the MEN-O-PAUSE tunnel. You do get your sexuality back. Hopefully before your husband leaves you for his twenty year old secretary and your children are still speaking to you even though you were the "menopausal bitch from hell" for the last ten years.

My advice to you is this: #1 If you think your marriage will not hold up to "menopausal hell" hide all the money you can get your hands on so you don't get a royal screwing during the divorce.
#2 Exercise, exercise and more exercise. It's great for your physical and emotional well being. Just do it in the morning. Cocktails and exercise do not mix well. I've tried it!

My Caustic Opinion On Watching People Smoke Themselves To Death

I am in deep shit right now for telling one of my three Aunts that she needs to quit smoking. After moving to Colorado last fall to help out her daughter with her young family, she made the decision to quit smoking after a fifty year habit. She went for ten or twelve weeks without a cigarette. On her first weekend away, to spend the weekend with me, she asked me to pull over so she could buy cigarettes. In the process of pulling over and buying cigarettes, she was telling me that she couldn't remember feeling as well as she did since she had quit smoking. She said she had quit coughing and had a lot more energy and seemed very proud and happy.
Of course I felt like shit because I couldn't say no to her that day. I hadn't seen her in a long time and didn't want to make her feel bad.
I have now become the person with the "caustic opinions" (according to an email I received from her this morning)and need to "back off"!
Well I'm not backing off!
Because she doesn't "smoke" in any ones home or in front of children, it's basically nobodies business.
The fact is, she has proven she can quit!
I told her just after New Years that she needed to go quit again. I know it's hard. Millions of people have said that. That's not the point!
The children she hides her smoking from are the children who will be watching her die a slow agonizing death! These are the Grand Children who need her
Her sister who watched their brother take his "last agonizing breath" from SMOKING doesn't want to see her only sister die that way. AND NEITHER DO I OR ANYONE ELSE WHO KNOWS HER!
We all need to "stop" minding our own business when we see someone we love destroying their lives. Have we become a society of people who only care about themselves?
If thats the case, maybe 12/21/12 will be what we all deserve...

Credit Card Bullshit

Every time I check out at a "chain" store, the first thing they ask is: Do you have "our" credit card? NO! Well you can save 20% buy applying for one today!!!

I'm very tired of having my intelligence insulted.

My life was nearly ruined once because of credit cards. Credit cards are for people who have the wad of cash to buy "things" but don't have big enough pockets.

I fell into the credit card "black hole" years ago and soon discovered I couldn't "afford them". I was using the credit cards for tires, car repairs, travel, entertainment, clothes for the whole family,and of course, Christmas. Yes, I could finally give my kids anything anything they wanted, in lieu of the attention and patenting! Plus I taught them they could also ruin their lives by buying "things" they couldn't afford.

We've all had to make changes now and are much happier for it.

My dad never had a credit card and always said: If you don't have the cash, you can't afford it! He was oh so right...

Tens of millions Americans have lost their homes and just about everything else because we were offered credit we couldn't "afford". We were all living on the "if the Bank says I can afford it, I can afford it" Planet!

Now we are all getting a much needed dose of reality. We are forced to save for what we need and want. "It's a good thing"

The banking and loan industry fucked us over and now we have to save their asses!

They can go fuck themselves!!!