MEN-O-FUCKING-PAUSE

It seems natural to me that the word menopause would begin with the word "men".

After all, it is a time in a woman's life when she is finished as a woman and begins the transformation process from daughter, to wife, to mother, to menopausal asshole.

That's where the man part comes in. We start growing hair in places we've never grown it before. Out ovaries "dry up". We start to spread out. "Things" start to sag and we become all out "bitches".

Plus, if he hasn't already, our husbands are having sexual fantasies involving sixteen year old girls, which will remain fantasies because (lucky for us) they can't afford the maintenance on a sixteen year old, unless it's a car.

Mother Nature can't possibly be a mother, or a woman at all. What mother would do this to her own kind?

While men are able to procreate up until the age of "death", women start turning into A-Sexual beings around the age of fifty. Still, we're expected to perform "sexually" like we did in our twenties and thirties. Believe me, we would all like to be fucking like bunnies again...Those were the good old days for us too!
We had all the orgasms we could possibly handle. And we didn't have to shop for dinner, or cook the dinner, clean the house, manage the house and make sure everything is in order, do the laundry and be ready for a "date" at eleven PM!

All that and no flowers?

Fortunately, there is a light at the end of the MEN-O-PAUSE tunnel. You do get your sexuality back. Hopefully before your husband leaves you for his twenty year old secretary and your children are still speaking to you even though you were the "menopausal bitch from hell" for the last ten years.

My advice to you is this: #1 If you think your marriage will not hold up to "menopausal hell" hide all the money you can get your hands on so you don't get a royal screwing during the divorce.
#2 Exercise, exercise and more exercise. It's great for your physical and emotional well being. Just do it in the morning. Cocktails and exercise do not mix well. I've tried it!